What is the significance of the 49th day after a person’s death?
The Buddhist tradition recognizes memorial services or observances in specific time periods after death. In traditional Buddhist thought there is a 49-day period of mourning after death that recognizes that the deceased is in a suspended state before taking another form. Rituals performed every seven days during this period were in hopes of elevating the deceased to a higher level of rebirth.
The 49th-day memorial is important because it comes at the end of all the seven-day cycles, reaching life’s fulfillment and birth in the Pure Land.
Its origins in India were that food would not last more than seven days so it became a unit of measure. It was as far into the future as we should look. The number 49 is also important because it refers to the enlightenment of Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha, who attained Buddhahood after 49 days of sitting in meditation under the Bodhi tree.
However, in the Jodo Shinshu tradition, the significance of the 49th day memorial service is not for the benefit of the deceased, but for us, those who remain in this world, and is held in honor of those who have passed away.
Amida Buddha’s Primal Vow ensures our birth in the Pure Land to become a Buddha so there is no need for the efforts of others for a better result. The memorial service is an opportunity given to us to encounter and to listen to the teachings of the Buddha. It is a time to express our gratitude for Amida Buddha and the life of Nembutsu.
From a more modern understanding, mental health experts say the acceptance of the passing of the person moves from one phase of grief toward acceptance, realizing one must move forward. They recognize that a period of 45–50 days is when this occurs.
But Buddhists have long realized this. This doesn’tmean your grief should be gone. Our grief becomes more manageable because our life has grown richer due to a deeper appreciation and gratitude for our ancestors and the support of so many.
This is a time to check in with one another to be sure we are all OK.
Gassho, Rev. Todd